Emocide

It's so awkward now I can't be around you The deadly silence that rips my soul Why are we like this now? We used to be cool- talk a lot But conversation fails – I hate myself You must have seen who I really am Dug beneath the surface Don't like what you see It's not all me… I carry most blames, but not tonight For the way I feel about you Cannot be expressed in mortal words I'm trying to recover Rip the ropes from my strangled heart Nothings going to happen Sooner I accept this, the better of I'll be But you're always there, in my dreams Your beautiful face, your kind words Tears fall, but the face remains dry I'm worthles

Sleep, I detest sleep…. It is a natural process that every human has to do, no sleep and you die…. Your conscious shuts down and the unconscious refuses to take over…. Insomnia does kill. But why? Why must I repeat this process every fucking night? The fight, the huge insurmountable losing battle of fending of the incoming and pending doom. Sometime's you can win, for a few nights, maybe a week…. Only with drugs. Sometimes you don't. I hate those nights.  Those nights were my spirit finally surrenders to the nightmares. Approx. every three nights… it happens. There are three parts to sleep, each with its own slow horrible moments. The first

Way to ruin my fucking day You said it so calmly As though it was a minor manner Nothing that would rip up my soul Just a "by the way" I'm taken So back the fuck off Two Fucking weeks ago That info would have been slightly more appreciated. I waited for you, remained faithful Hoping you would come round, accept I'm not ready, too much shit Fucking liar, just couldn't say it to my face. I'm fuck ugly, never liked me. And to what? Some fuck I've never met Some dick who was so much fucking better I don't fucking know anymore Can't even move my fucking arms I'm so depressed Why the fuck? You led me on Made me fucking wait, why

I want to apologise to you For what I've said and done You don't deserve what I've been And for that I'm sorry And can only plead forgiveness But at the same time – burning Deep within my inner-core Don't you know? I'm cut up Bad? But worse than that, I waited Like a chump, an idiot I couldn't see through you Do you know my sacrifices? What I've done? Kept pure and alone – nothing? You can't know, cannot You are not a cruel and heartless bitch You have feelings and love, just not for me But I'm still fucked up It still hurts inside – but to a low intensity It doesn't burn, just a constant ache Every time I think of you, an